I Already Knew That

"You know that toilet paper is about half the price at NoFrills."

I'm blinking, blink blink,
staring at her and wondering
what the purpose is
in telling me
that I could've saved the shop
Three Dollars
on toilet paper
when there's no NoFrills
within about a 1 billion kilometer radius?

"Oh," I say,
Staring.

I knew I'd only get 15 Air Miles out of the purchase.
I was proud of that and them.

"You know the blue tags? They only mean that if you spend one hundred dollars..."

And this is what I get
for being young
with a face that betrays
my supposed inexperience with Safeway.

"...so if we needed coffee,
towels,
toilet paper,
milk,
cream,
tape,
soap..."

I think my age is lying to them
about how much
I understand concerning
Air Miles and club cards...

"...then when you went over there to get stuff it would be worth it..."

And it only ads insult
to costly Air Miles
when it's assumed
that you have the intelligence
and blue-sticker-reading-prowess
of a dead turtle.